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Two Punters Go Into a Pub…..Or Things The Irish Fear

In addition to the concerns about the wife, the children(think of the children) the neighbors(more their status with said), the local priest, the garda, my neighbors, they are also worried about being seen by other punters! This cracked me up! They live in fear of being found out and it ‘getting about’ that they are seeing escorts. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around this phobic fear they have of being found out, then I learned a bit more about the Irish and their pub culture and then all things became clear.

Take for instance the punter fear: It has to do with who tells the story first at the local, if punter 1 gets there first, has a few pints too many, which is the norm on the average night and blabs about punter 2 being seen coming from a known escorts door, then he is control of the telling of the story. The fact he was in the same location at the exact same time as punter 2 will be lost, due to the inebriation on the part of the listeners, not to mention he will of course embellish, forgetting to mention punter 2 saw him as well exiting the same door! By the following morning most of the story will be forgotten, but the damage will be done to punter 2’s reputation and it is just a matter of time before word gets back to the wife and family, and then all hell starts breaking loose.

The Irish have several general fears, mother, and their neighbors tops the list. Mother is used in the general sense of any female presence the wife is included in this, mostly after he has left home, it is amazing how many Irish men still live at home with their mothers! I had one run in, get the deed done, and race off again, because he needed to be home before his parents so he could shower, so they wouldn’t notice he had been with a woman. He was 36!

If I have the misfortune to have a client who seems to have made himself too comfortable, I will not so subtlety drop hints that I have another appointment right after this, if this person was dragging his feet before, these words will be the equilivent of putting pepper up a horses bum. He will start to move with a swiftness and determination never seen before. Why? Because he is petrified of being seen by another punter.

But to be honest I think fear of the neighbors is more of a constant and pressing concern. Wrapped up in the fear of the neighbors is the effect this will have on their status in the community. What goes on in private will stay there, this is why the priests were able to get away with the abuse of children for so long, the typical Irish family unit, are more worried about, “What will dah neighbors tink?” “We woudn’t be wantin sumthin, like dat gettin about now, woud we? For fecks sake!”

In fact it is so status driven, it is one of the reasons they are in the economic shit they are in at the moment. Everyone was silently trying to keep up with the O’Riellys-Irish version of the Jones, every year it was a new car and/or a new house, or another holiday, or a new patio addition, or the biggest Debs party for the daughter, complete with limousines and semi-famous singers. Head smack moment.

Oh, and the crystal were flowing, and I am not talking about the champagne either. Cocaine use was at an all time high, if what they get in Ireland can be called cocaine. It has been cut so much it is hardly distinguishable from talcum powder. There was a race to destruction and they were going to win come hell or high water.

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