I Am Realistic

You may think I dislike Ireland or Irish people, I really don’t. I just don’t have that idealized view of them, that is cultivated and marketed so well to rest of the world. They have made an art form of exporting the friendly, jovial, wise-cracking Irish to the world, always ready with a good come back and an off the cuff retort. They are indeed wise cracking, I have had some hilarious moments with Irish clients. But, it is a well cultivated facade manufactured to keep the tourist dollars rolling in. Especially, from Americans/Canadians/Australians, and that group who can trace direct ancestory back to Ireland. When I hear ACAs wax lyrical, and soliloquize about how wonderful the Irish are and how friendly, oh and the hospitality. They bent over backwards for me, They went out of their way for me. Of course they did. They were making loads of money off of stupid 1/32 precent Irish desperate for some sort of historical connection to the ‘old country”. It reminds me a bit of some of my reviews. I often wonder who the hell are they talking about? Until I remember they are referring to my work personae, the absolute angel in knickers that I personify.

Not to mention where does the average tourist encounter the average Irish person? In the stores, in the pubs, restaurants, and in the hotels, short impersonal encounters. In the pub you are encountering people who are several sheets to the wind, and it is in that setting you hear about most encounters with the Irish. Of course they are happy, as long as the alcohol buzz nicely ticks over. Because most consume beer, cider, or a gross concoction called a shandy, beer and soda! Ewww! You don’t get that all powerful hit the likes of which you get from hard spirits. So as long as they pace themselves the lovely alcoholic buzz can last all night long.

I found the Irish delightful when I first arrived, oh the ones in the pubs were a hysterical and the clients were adorable. But even before the money went away I would catch glimpses of the facade slipping, and what lies beneath is completely contrary to the reality. It is as if it is a national trust to convince tourists that Ireland is the best place on earth, and that the whole population are just brilliant untapped talent waiting to be discovered. Some are, and unless they leave Ireland will be lost in the delightful pastime of pathological begrudgery and keeping up with the jones that occupies the national psyche. Remember appearances are EVERYTHING! As long as they appear to be successful, then it is reality, the reason they are in the shit economically.

I think in part this is due to the Catholic church and the draconian grip they had on the country. No one ever dealt with anything, in this way they made and art form of “Keep calm and carry on”. I havent been to ROI in a while, but from the rumours I am hearing, things may have settled down a bit and the populace may once again be in the mood to have a bit of fun. So I will arm myself with a case of shower gel, baby wipes, condoms and mouthwash. If all else fails, the North is but a bus ride away.

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