Why Did I Even Bother?

Why Did I Even Bother?

I started dating(I lasted a few weeks), why the hell did I do that? What a disaster! My gf were giving me lessons how to behave. Some of the things I was informed to do and not do.

1. Don’t talk too much about myself, ask questions about the man, and make him feel important!

Seriously? Is the average male this insecure? Wait, this sounds like work, why would I want to engage and encourage this foolishness for free?

2. Don’t dress up too much, they will think you are high maintenance.

WTF!? Really! News flash! I am fucking high maintenance! Yes, I am and you know what else, I am really good with this. If he wants a blow up doll, he should go get one.

3. If you do have a BF, make him feel useful around he house.

Jesus Christ almighty, how the hell do women tolerate having men around? They are worse than children.

Oh, my god! How the hell do civvie women go on dates? Please tell me, what are your secrets? I can’t manage to feint interest for longer than 20 mins. The conversation about their non existent lives, them trying to impress me with what they think is their prowess!? Jesus, or the ones who can’t seem to manage to match their clothing! Talk about useless! Or are my standards that high!? Surely not?

Then there was this point when I realised I had to pretend to enjoy bad sex for fucking FREE! That was as Malcolm Gladwell said, the tipping point. Oh hell no! I am not going to shag for free, badly! So I axed that budding relationship and am once again, single, happy, and have the big bed all to myself. Am I selfish? Yes I am! And as well as being high maintenance, I am so ok with this.

How It Starts

How It Starts

Whoring was something I was thinking about for a long time before I  started. I researched the topic, the laws, the legalities and the health risks before I got up the nerve to start phoning for interviews. I read through all the newspaper advertisements and choose the three which appealed to me most, called around and made appointments to have an interview. I dressed nicely, professionally, with an option for sexiness if there was a call for it. I was nervous as hell! I had never done anything like this before. Or, what I should say, is that I had, just not in so direct a fashion as a direct exchange of money for sex. In all my years of having relationships I have analyzed them and the dynamic of them and found some interesting things. Relationships are about an exchange of resources, for resources you can also read power.

This is my unscientific view on relationships.

First there is the falling in love stage, the only purpose I can see that the serves is to get you screwing non-stop. Also, since it is a new situation the man will likely produce a better quality of sperm and thus stands more likelihood of getting the woman pregnant.
Second stage if stage 1 is successful, comes the baby and bonding stage, men are tied in here, because they now have a shot at immortality in the form of the little one, so their ego causes them to stick around. But since men are hardwired to spread as much sperm around as possible this starts to become difficult, but he wants to be there for the little one, yes the lady wife is still attractive, but that is  an already plowed pasture, he needs some new fertile pastures to rut about in.
Enter stage 3, This stage can last as many years as the couple chooses to delude themselves. The woman has acquired security-marriage and or children, comfort-she works , husband will have a better job, they own a house(s), offspring-she has one and is planning another, companionship-someone to talk at, personal acknowledgement-to herself and her community(read family friends, associates), social status-whether the husband likes it or not, they will belong to one or several country clubs, golf clubs, or social clubs.

By this stage the man realizes he is fucked! Or in some cases, he isn’t fucked as often as he likes anymore, so the alternative is divorce-too messy and expensive to be honest, not to mention what will “dah neighbors tink?” Plus, she isn’t that bad to have a round, when she manages to shut up long enough for him to get a word in edge-ways. The kids are cute, and thankfully look like him, which is a bonus. There can sometimes be speculation. The house is tidy, she cooks ok and she seems to get on with his mother. So, the man starts to develop a secret life of sorts, and about this time is where I or one of the many lovely ladies I know working the scene enters the picture.