Some Universal Truths About Hoing

Some Universal Truths About Hoing

 1. The minute you decide to de-ho, after sitting around looking glamorous all day and doing sweet FA, the phone will ring just as you are removing the last vestiges of make up.

2. After sitting around all day doing nothing, and finally you get a booking, during the time you are busy, you will have missed 5 phone calls all from regs, all looking to book with in the next hour. Men fuck in clusters.

3. The minute you decide to go out to do errands, no matter what time of the day, you will get a call from someone wanting to come NOW!

4. The client that pays you thousands, will take you to dinner, treat you nice, buy you pressies, asks permission to shag you once and tips. The one who books for he hour, and has to save for that hour, will shag you senseless for 58 mins, to get his money’s worth.

5. Clients will get the hump if you are running 5 mins late, but can’t seem to get why you are pissed when they book, confirm, and rock up 45mins late!

6. Guys with the he smallest dicks, always think it is bigger than it really is, and guys with big ones seem to think they are average.

7. The cutest hottest guy will come in for just a blow-job, massage, no sex!

8. The day you have the worst gas, will be the day everyone want to stick their finger, toy, dick, or tongue up your ass.

9. The day you are bleeding like a crime scene will be the day you get every large dicked client who books and stays for the full hour.

10. The day you are horny as hell, you will get every 80 yo geriatric travelling in from miles around.

11. Doesn’t matter the culture, the race, or the language. Men do not read profiles! They just don’t.