I Want It All, I Want It All, I Want It All and I Want It NOW!

Lord, how many times have I heard this statement, “Are you available NOW!” Really, your dick starts to twitch, and the first number you come across, your intro to making an appointment, is to demand an appointment NOW! So, I take a deep breath and try to interject some reality into this persons obvious state of delusion. Because unless, he is a Time Lord, has access to the Tardis, has discovered my location and is actually standing in front of my door, or some how think I have a portable ho house that can pop up magically at his location, this foolishness of coming NOW, isn’t going to happen.

So, I ask a few basic questions, such as, where did you see my ad?  Have you seen the pictures? How long would you like to book? And what city/country/continent are you located?

Why the interrogation? This is due to being a globe trotting ho, and yes even with concise information in my adverts, such as location, length of duration at said location, and a host of other important info. Men can and do manage to get things slightly confused and think Canberra is Cornwall. See, I sincerely don’t think this would happen to a girl, we would not confuse our Gucci with our Gaultier. it is too important.

You would think the urgency with which a man wants his end wet, NOW! He would put a bit more effort into making sure I was located in the same town as he.

Swedish Model

Of all the anti prostitution laws on the books, most aimed at making the lives of women seeking to make a living as dangerous as possible. Ireland of course chooses the possibility of criminalising the client, or the law more popularly known as the Swedish Model. Which makes it illegal to purchase sex, but not illegal to sell. The idea being to stop men from purchasing and exploiting women. Ha! The idiots who came up with this did not think this through. I have worked in countries where this law is in affect and it makes no difference.

But I have a feeling it will make a difference in Ireland. But not the one everyone thinks. The difference I think it will make is to possibly instill a slight modicum of manners into the punting population.

You must remember that the Irish punter as a whole is a slightly self entitled, xenophobic creature. But they are scared as shit of their own shadows, their neighbours, their wives, mothers, dicks, sexual urges. You name it. The idea of it being illegal to purchase sex will make them more skittish than ever. But trust me this is a good thing, why?

Because fear is a good thing when dealing with the Irish punter. It is shocking how many don’t know it is legal. And far be it from me to tell them differently. But adding the part that makes it illegal for them to buy will have the added benefit of making them even more fearful. Fear makes them behave, well in as much as they are capable of.

Guilt is another motivating factor. But the Catholic Church took care of that one already.

So the combination of fear, guilt, horniness and disposable income will create the perfect punter. Let’s hope the extra fear improves their ability to listen and follow directions.